Bank said no, I said yes.

Last week’s blog was written from the North Terminal at Gatwick at 4am while I sat waiting for bag drop to open. I’d gone early so I could get some work done on my laptop before the flight, but also because I had to take the cheapest way there. My budget isn’t what it once was since I decided to take a different path and start doing what I actually want to do with my life. It’s funny really. In the past I probably would have talked myself out of a trip like this. Time away from work. No money coming in. Sensible Zoe would have said no.

Instead, I said yes.

And I will be forever grateful to Sara for giving me the opportunity to join her women’s retreat in Iceland. I don’t actually think I can do the trip justice in writing because it wasn’t the kind of experience you can neatly explain. It was something you had to feel. Since coming home people have asked me what it was like and I’ve found myself a bit lost for words. I can show them pictures of waterfalls, lagoons and geothermal pools, but what actually happened was far deeper than a beautiful landscape.

One of the most intense things we did was a sweat lodge. If you’ve never heard of one I suggest Googling it. On paper it sounds like absolute hell. Sitting in a dark, enclosed space while heat builds and builds. And honestly, parts of it did feel like hell. But at the same time it was strangely beautiful and incredibly powerful. It was one of the most intense experiences I’ve ever had and even now I struggle to fully explain what it did to me.

The group of women I met on that trip will stay with me for the rest of my life. Even if I never see some of them again, the conversations, the honesty, the laughter and the stories we shared touched me deeply. Not in some weird spiritual cliché way, just in a very human, soul-level way that you don’t get very often in life.

I know now that Iceland will always hold a very special place in my heart and I will absolutely be going back with Sara again next year.

What this trip really reminded me of is the power of saying yes. Even when your brain is telling you it’s impossible. Even when the numbers don’t quite add up. I knew I wouldn’t be earning while I was away. That little voice in my head kept reminding me of it. But saying yes to something that felt slightly uncomfortable gave me an experience I would never have had otherwise.

You can always earn more money. But experiences like this are what shape you.

I listened to Jimmy Carr on a podcast recently and he said something that really stuck with me: you can’t have an easy life and a great character. Having stuff isn’t actually the fun part. Getting stuff is the fun. It’s the pursuit of happiness. Or as he put it… the happiness of the pursuit.

And I think this trip was a reminder that sometimes the best thing you can do in life is simply say yes.

Oh, and before I go. I know I promised to talk about the 85 percent downloading story. Well it turns out it’s actually about 95 percent downloaded now. I need it to reach a full 100 percent before I share it properly.

Trust me though… it will be worth the wait.

Same person

New chapter x