Berlin, Bad Decisions & Being Alive

This week’s blog is brought to you by another solid “fuck it and find out” moment. I went to Berlin… to meet a man I’d been chatting to for weeks. We were basically passing ships. I was in Iceland having a full era on life moment, he was off skiing somewhere, and somehow in between all that we just clicked. Properly clicked. The kind where you actually want to message someone every day, which is rare enough for me to take notice.

Then life did its thing. A friend passed away suddenly this week. No warning, no time to prepare, just gone. And it shooketh me. Not in a “live every day like it’s your last” way, because if that were true I’d be face down in chocolate and alcohol by mid-morning, but in a “stop wasting time” kind of way. Stop worrying about things you can’t change. Say yes more. Be open. Do the thing. No one gets to the pearly gates wishing they watched more TV.

So I went.

And honestly? It was amazing. Everything just worked. The food, the hotel, the conversation, the energy. Easy. Natural. No awkwardness. I was clear from the start, I’m not here for a relationship, but I am here to meet new people and have some fun. And I was treated like a princess. Proper effort. Walks, plans, time, attention. We’ll definitely be keeping things going, which works perfectly as he’s in Scotland and I’m in London. Distance keeps things exactly where I want them… enjoyable.

Here’s what I’ve realised though. Men are like handbags. You don’t just have one. You’ve got different ones for different occasions. The princess treatment one. The girls gotta eat one. The absolute trash bag one. And then the reliable everyday one… and the slightly outrageous one you probably shouldn’t have bought but love anyway.

So now I’m wondering… if I was a handbag, what would I be?

And before anyone thinks I’m just swanning around airports living my best life, let’s be clear… life has been life-ing hard behind the scenes. The Wellness Tavern has taken a bit of a back seat while I’ve been deep in building the Pink Gorilla Collective, working with clients, and quite literally selling random shite out of my workshop to keep things moving. It might look like I’m gallivanting about, but I work a lot. And weirdly… I’m content. I’m happy. I’m genuinely loving this slightly chaotic, stressful, no-money phase of life.

Because when you strip everything back, all the unnecessary stuff, all the noise, you start to get really comfortable with who you actually are. And once you see that clearly, you also start to see who around you isn’t comfortable in their own life, in themselves, in any of it. I didn't believe this when I used to hear it, but it absolutely makes sense now im sat here.

So do yourself a favour. Start caring about yourself a bit more. Stop pouring everything into everyone else and forgetting why you’re here and who you are. That’s where the good stuff is.

And if you’re sitting there thinking you need a bit of that energy, that shift, that clarity… this is exactly why Sara and I created the Creative Camp Weekender in July. You’ve probably heard people say “I wish I could bottle that feeling”… well, we’ve basically learnt how to. We bottle the energy, the encouragement, the honesty, and we give it to you full force on Dartmoor.

If you want in, pay the deposit and secure your place. Come and spend the weekend with us. It might just be your own “fuck it and find out” moment.

And finally… my DMs are always open. If you need someone to talk to, reach out. It’s ok to not feel ok. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have good people around me, and I know not everyone has that. So if you need it, I’m here. And don’t worry… I won’t write about you in my blog.

Jokes aside, I genuinely mean it. I’m always happy to help where I can.

Same person

New chapter x