Too Many Tabs Open

This week’s blog comes off the back of Easter where I spent time with people aged 10 to 80 and I can’t stop thinking about how good it was for me. There’s something about mixing with different ages that just does something to your system. Different conversations, different energy, different perspectives. Especially when you’re going through your own stuff, which let’s be honest, we all are. Not everything needs to be spoken about, sometimes just being around people, interacting, laughing, listening, is enough to calm your nervous system without you even realising. I came back feeling refreshed, clear and focused.

Then this week went a bit wild. I don’t know what’s going on but the universe has been busy, introducing me to new people and almost placing opportunities right in front of me. I got invited to a friend’s collaboration with Pop Specs and here’s the mad bit, I’d lost my glasses over Easter and couldn’t afford to replace them. I can’t even wear the cheap ones because I need prescription lenses, so I was genuinely a bit stuck. I turn up to this event and end up being gifted a pair. You couldn’t write it.

At the same time life hasn’t slowed down. My son Alfie has been an absolute trooper and started working on the campervan which is about to become my office when The Wellness Tavern opens. There’s a lot going on, a lot shifting, and normally this level of everything all at once would have tipped me over the edge.

But something has changed. Working with Sara from Breathways and learning breathwork has helped me stay grounded in a way I didn’t expect. More than that, I’ve started to understand my own brain better. I can feel when things are building, I can see when too many tabs are opening, and instead of letting it spiral I can step in and focus on one thing at a time. Too many tabs open is a dangerous place to be, but I’ve also realised my brain does thrive on having a few open, I’ve just had to learn what my version of manageable actually looks like.

This really hit home in a Creative Confidence Hour I had with Louise. She filled in the form beforehand and we jumped on Zoom, and within the conversation I realised she hadn’t even properly led with something massive, she’s a really talented ceramicist. This is exactly why I love these sessions, I get to delve in, read between the lines and spot patterns people don’t even realise they’re showing. By the end of the hour we were both buzzing with ideas and a plan to get her back into ceramics.

But I was also brutally honest with her. She’s not allowed to start yet. No buying new materials, no diving straight back in, not until she clears her workshop. It’s full of past hobbies, half started ideas and distractions, and that’s exactly the stuff that keeps people stuck while they’re trying to move forward.

It’s completely fine to try lots of things, you should, but at some point you have to choose one, focus on it, test it and give it a proper chance. Otherwise you end up with a million tabs open and nothing actually works, and that’s where the frustration comes in. Not because you’re not capable, but because your energy is spread too thin.

Right now I feel grounded, focused and clear. Not perfect, but different, and that shift in itself has changed everything.

As I sit here typing this a few hours late, because like I said I now know what to focus on at any one point, I feel content, happy and excited with where I am. To grow is what life is about. Being stagnant is to die inside. Aspire to evolve and never stop moving because you will shrivel up. I’ve done more learning this last year than I reckon I have in my whole life.

Same person

New chapter x